What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Write something which is just the opposite of you.

True - how I loved my mum!

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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Do you know what she said mum?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Is Trump the greatest spiritual leader since Jesus?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What do you mean son?

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

What! how could you do that?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

If you believe in God, do you think God can save you from cancer?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?